


Where We've Been is Who We Are

by RK97



Series: Now Don't Lose Your Fight, Kid [5]
Category: Unus Annus - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Platonic Relationships, Pumpkin carving, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27157160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RK97/pseuds/RK97
Summary: “Pumpkins!” Ethan exclaimed as he got closer seeing two stems sticking out of one of the bags. Mark grinned “Yeah, I figure we could carve them for an unus annus video, plus it’ll be fun, I haven’t carved a pumpkin in while.”
Relationships: Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Series: Now Don't Lose Your Fight, Kid [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867348
Comments: 12
Kudos: 207





	Where We've Been is Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am back with a update!! and its about pumpkins!!  
> as always this is a little series I have going if you wanna go back and read the others for context feel free!
> 
> There is a brief mention/reference of self-harm in here, if you wanna skip it, skip the paragraph starting at 'Mark eyed him warily' and start at 'Mark squeezed his palm' 
> 
> this is a work of pure fiction! I just like to take internet personas and go wild with em' 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy!

Mark stumbled through his front door, arms bundled with grocery bags, head barely peaking over the top of them. Ethan glanced up from where he was sitting on the couch, “Do you need some help?” he asked. “No, no” Mark flapped what little freedom he had left of his hand in dismissal. “I got it” he grunted struggling to take his shoes off and not drop the bags. Ethan shook his head, rolling his eyes at Mark’s “ _I can handle anything by myself attitude_ ” he set down his Nintendo switch, uncrossing his legs and stood up walking over with intent to help whatever Mark was carrying.

“Pumpkins!” Ethan exclaimed as he got closer seeing two stems sticking out of one of the bags. Mark grinned “Yeah, I figure we could carve them for an unus annus video, plus it’ll be fun, I haven’t carved a pumpkin in while.”

Ethan was already digging the other bags out of Marks hands with excitement “Did you get the shitty tool carving kit? Yeah you did!” Ethan took the plastic carving kit out of the bag waving it back and forth excitedly. “ah yes childhood right there” Ethan laughed looking at the kit. It was wrapped in hard plastic and came with five different carving ‘knives’, the hilts of them florescent orange.

“is it that shitty?” Mark asked peering over at it as he slipped off his other shoe. “it’s not shitty per say, it’s just not really sharp enough for carving pumpkins so they always bend” Ethan shrugged his shoulders “it’ll work just fine though.”

Mark raised an eyebrow “yeah, like you need anything sharp around you” Ethan put a hand up to his chest in mock horror “I worked in a kitchen Mark! I have more knife skills than you!” “Working in a kitchen and carving a pumpkin are two entirely different things!” Mark slid his coat off putting it back on the hook. “ _Working in a kitchen and carving a pumpkin are two entirely different things_ ” Ethan repeated mockingly. Mark turned glaring at him. “Just teasing’’ Ethan smiled turning his attention back to the bag in his hand "Ooh! You got lights for them too."

Mark smiled fondly, knowing Ethan’s attention was shot _guess I’ll have to go get some more pumpkins later_ He thought. “Here, help me carry the groceries into the kitchen and then we can carve pumpkins okay?" Mark said passing a bag to him. “Really?” Ethan said eagerly “but-but it’s not filming day?” he grabbed the bag from Mark. Mark flapped his hand dismissively “film day schmilm day, I want to carve pumpkins now.”

Ethan quickly carried the pumpkins and kit supplies to the table no further encouragement needed. He ran back to grab another bag from Mark before returning to the kitchen. “slow down there Eth!, the pumpkins are still gonna be there” Mark scolded watching Ethan almost collide into the wall. “But I wanna carve them now!” Ethan sat down at the table looking over at Mark expectantly. “I’m coming, I’m coming” Mark muttered making his way towards the kitchen.

“We need some markers Mark!” Ethan said hands on one of the pumpkins turning it side to side to see where it was best to carve . “Yeah and some paper towels, spoons, a knife, and a bowl. Don’t just start carving it you'll make a mess!” Mark scolded again, Ethan pouted crossing his arms over his chest “okay."

Mark walked over to the table laying the newspapers flat before sitting down, markers in hand. He passed Ethan a bowl “for the pumpkin seeds,” Ethan nodded uncapping a black marker, smell of sharpie hitting his nose. 

"what are you gonna carve Mark?” Ethan asked “Mm not sure” Mark said shrugging his shoulders “I think a goofy face.” Ethan nodded dragging the marker along the pumpkin “I think I’m gonna go for a classic look.”

Ethan grabbed the knife stabbing it into the top of the pumpkin. Mark eyed him warily “Careful their eager beaver”. Ethan pulled the knife out of the pumpkin, grabbing the stem with the other hand he gave it a small tug before the top piece popped out. “Calm down there mother hen, see no accidents!” Ethan said twirling the knife in his hand like it was a conductors baton. “Yet!” Mark shot back looking concerned at Ethan’s knife yielding skills. “okay okay, putting the knife down” Ethan said making a big demonstration out of slowly placing the knife back down on the table.

Mark rolled his eyes, grabbing a marker and uncapping it, sharp smell stinging his nose as he began to draw a face. They both fell into deep concentration, Ethan muttering weird noises under his breath.

Mark reached his arm over the table grabbing the knife, carefully cutting the top of the pumpkin off before plunging his hand inside. “Can we make pumpkin seeds later?” Ethan asked hopefully “Sure” Mark said scooping a handful of the pumpkin innards out and placing it into one of the bowls. “Sweet!” Ethan said scooping a handful of seeds from his own pumpkin and dumping it into a bowl. 

After dumping the rest of the innards in the bowl Ethan picked up one of the carving tools inspecting it before poking it in and out along the line he had drawn, tongue stuck out in concentration.

Mark put the cap back on his marker, leaning over and grabbing one of the tools they had piled onto the table, slowly stabbing it through the pumpkin and beginning to carve it. The blade stuck as he tried to twist it around the mouth he had drew, frowning Mark pushed against it. The tool barely moved, frowning again Mark pushed it. hard. breaking the blade off. Letting out a noise of frustration Mark grabbed another carving tool only to repeat it getting stuck and break it again.

Ethan looked over “Geez Mark, by the time you’re done with one eye I’ll be finished!” he said teasing him

Annoyed, Mark reached over the table grabbing the sharp knife Ethan had been using. Placing his hand up against the pumpkin to guide the knife through where the carving tool had gotten stuck, the knife slipped through the pumpkin easily and into Mark's thumb, "Ah" he winced, blood trickling out of the wound,

Ethan looked over, noticing Mark holding his thumb in pain “Mark did you cut yourself? Does it hurt? How bad?” Ethan leaned towards him noticing the blood rushing down Mark's palm “its fine, just a little cut, doesn’t really hurt” Mark waved him off “yeah well its bleeding like crazy! Hold on let me get the first aid kit” Ethan said standing up from the table.

He jogged down the hall to the bathroom, grabbing the kit from the under the sink, coming back over to Mark, setting it down on the table. Ethan unlatched the box, popping the top open and grabbing the gauze,

“Do not vorry” Ethan said using a random accent as he took a an alcoholic wipe and started cleaning Mark's hand, squeezing it once “Dr. Nestor is in ‘ze house!” Mark laughed “it’s not that bad, just a little cut-“ “ahh ah ah” Ethan shushed him “Patient should not argue with the doctor, yes? Doc-tore knows best” “Depending on where the doctor got his MD from” Mark muttered under his breath, but he stopped, letting Ethan wrap the gauze around his hand.

“y’know the last time I was doing this I was at your house” Mark said looking down at the gauze. Ethan looked up quizzically “When? Where was I?” Mark stilled, “it was the last time we were there, I was making you soup and when I was waiting for it to boil I started doing some dishes and I uhh broke a shot glass by accident and it cut me.” “how bad was it?” Ethan asked worriedly “Not bad at all, I just needed a bandaid, took me forever to find them in your bathroom, it was shoved in a drawer” “oh y-yeah?” Ethan said hands suddenly shaky.

Mark eyed him warily _if there’s any time better than now to bring it_ _up_ “I-I found something in your bathroom when I was searching for bandages actually” Ethan tensed “Y-yeah?” “yeah, I mean, “ Mark sighed running a hand through his hair, slowly blowing out a breath, unsure of what to say and how to say it “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want too, but if-if you’re hurting, I , I’ll-” Ethan placed a hand on Marks wrist rubbing a small circle with his thumb “Thanks Mark” tears welled up in his eyes, he blinked them back looking down studying Marks wrist.

“you’re talking about the razor blade aren’t you?” Ethan looked at Mark ashamedly. Mark looked at him for a moment “yeah, yeah Eth, I don’t want to pry but, I’m just worried y’know? And I’m not sure how to-” Ethan shook his head cutting Mark off “it’s okay Mark, I understand, I’d want to know too, it’s not what you think, sort of anyway”

Mark raised an eyebrow questioningly “I don’t know why I still have it to be honest. It’s something I haven’t done in a while I–“ Ethan rubbed the back of his neck up and down pausing to gather his thoughts “the scars have healed over mostly now, but I still have a habit of pulling down my shorts to cover them if I’m around people, it–“ he ran his hand through his hair a couple of times adjusting himself “never goes away, at least it didn’t for me” “Never goes away?” Mark asked quietly “just the thought of doing it I guess? It's a weird fucked up comfort thing and I’ve been meaning to get rid of it but every time I go throw it out I stop myself, like what if I still need it?” Ethan looked down at the gauze swallowing thickly.

Mark squeezed his palm “Have-“ Mark started, clearing his throat before starting again “have you felt like you needed it lately?” “No, not since..” Ethan trailed off looking away. “Since…? Mark asked questioningly. 

Ethan was quiet for a moment “I think it was after laundry day” he said focusing on wrapping Mark's thumb up. Mark cocked his head in confusion, “laundry day?”

Ethan nodded once “Yeah, laundry day” he reached over starting to pack up the first aid kit “Remember that day you came home and I was hiding from you because I was freaking out? I had tried to do laundry and managed to turn everything pink and I was worried you were going to start screaming at me” Ethan looked up at Mark, grin stretching across his face “But you walked in the room, took one look at the sweater I was holding and said-” “I like it better pink anyway” Mark finished the sentence grinning at the memory. Ethan smiled "You made me feel safe, like everything was going to be okay, no matter what I did" Ethan shrugged. 

Mark gave Ethan's hand a squeeze. Ethan squeezed back. Mark smiled, “that was a good day, I'm glad, I hope one day you do throw it out Ethan, I care about you”

“I know” He said tying the last of the bandage into a a tiny bow.

Mark stood wrapping his arms around Ethan and pulling him up into a tight hug. Ethan sighed as he breathed in the scent of Mark's shampoo, feeling the warmth of him. He squeezed his arms around Mark, Mark squeezed back twice. 

They stood like that for a moment before letting go and sitting back down at the table. 

“Here” Ethan said picking up a carving tool from their dwindling pile “these never work as actual knives, but if you poke it in and out it won’t get stuck” Ethan demonstrated. Mark picked up a tool copying Ethan's movements.

“These really are shitty tools” Mark commented “yeah, but it's part of the experience!” Ethan pointed out. 

“Oh fuckkk” Ethan whined out “it broke Mark “ he whined again showing Mark the spot in his carving that split. "is that also part of the experience?” Mark teased “yeah, yeah it is" Ethan agreed laughing.

Once their pumpkins were finished, Mark grabbed one of the packages of tea light candles, opening it and passing a candle to Ethan. They placed the lights in the pumpkins before leaning back to admire their work. Ethan's pumpkin looked like a standard classic jack o'lantern even with its missing chunk of eye, Mark’s pumpkin was more goofy looking, he had carved one with a tongue sticking out.

He squeezed Ethan's shoulder affectionately “I think we did a good job, they look great!”

Ethan nodded “Can we get more?” he asked eagerly “only if we eat all the pumpkin seeds” Mark said “oh right pumpkin seeds!!” Ethan shouted jumping up from the chair and carrying one of the bowls into the kitchen.

Mark watched fondly from his seat at the table shaking his head, he stood up following Ethan to the kitchen before disaster could strike.

**Author's Note:**

> <333 okay I've mentioned the laundry thing twice now and i feel like i should write that as a little bonus chapter, lemme know if y'all wanna see it!  
> leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed! i really appreciate it <3
> 
> _the selfharm part was written from my own experiences, i wouldn't advise keeping a razorblade on hand_


End file.
